WELL, Happy New Year, and this time I mean it. Seriously, 2010 was a funny old twelve months, good preparation for a blinding 2011.

I plan on publishing at least one book, getting myself involved in something hilarious on television and embarking on the greatest romantic adventure since Eve said to Adam – ‘This, according to that snakey chap, this is called…naked’.

I feel my exile to this Caribbean paradise is drawing to an end. I have abused nearly all of the local landlords, swapped swearwords with at least half the known population and have learned just about all I ever need to learn about the delights of Tequila from Mexico’s own Prince Of Hell. Did the Aztecs even have a hell?

I’ll bet it’s 10 times worse than ours but with better drinks and less neon.

Wine consumption over here has been enthusiastic, if lacking in a little refinement. Wine prices are shocking, that tidy little seven pounder you unearthed in Oddbins would set you back at least double that here. Double.

But still, my new found barbarians and I have managed to sink a good few bottles of decent swag and I’d like to offer my liquid review of 2010…

Bottle Of The Year has to go to my old friend Cape Mentelle Cabernet/Merlot 2000 – a wine I’ve been walloping on about of late and you must find it. Seek out this plummy little rockstar and get your freak on. Drink it with a very sexy girl, in bed, watching Enter The Dragon.

This fine blighter has had just enough age on it now and it needs your attention. Have a really good look around and get this cheeky wizard on your table.

If you can’t find the 2000 allow a fine merchant to point you in the direction of the 2004 or 2006, but don’t concentrate on his finger, or you’ll miss out on all that heavenly glory.

My Small Fish In A Big Pond Award of 2010 goes to the Petit Syrah, 2007 from Stag’s Leap, Napa Valley, California. Stag’s Leap are big players and have spangled out bottles of top Chardonnay and fierce Cabernets for about a zillion years, with some crazy prices to match the crazy profile.

This zippy fella comes across like a well timed BMX stunt on a grand piano. Really juicy, a bit tight on the opening but delivering some top berry action as it develops on the old stamp licker. Wangle some top lamb from your local genius, roast it properly and have a right old time.

Wine To Declare Undying Love For Everything Ever Award, must go to the Mount Cass Gewurztraminer, 2007, Waipara Valley, New Zealand. It’s like an angel crying through a strainer made out of a fit elf maiden’s eyelashes, but, just as you think it’s all getting a bit too flowery, Prince and The Revolution drop a tidy middle eight and your funk is righteously and cosmically sent to electric heaven. One of the most shockingly drinkable wines of all time.

You lucky, lucky demons can go and quench your fiery, five o clock anger with this remarkable juice down at The Noble House, Brunswick Street. They do it by the glass! Insane.

I live by hyperbole, it’s undoubtedly the only way I can survive in this world of fence-sitting and plateau skating. But it is without any caution that I can proclaim that 2011 is going to be an incredible year for our mighty city.

Expect genius from your local bars and restaurants, demand it. There are rumours of more and more exciting new gaffs on the way – competition will be fierce. Liverpool will make a big mark this year, I can feel it. And, with The King back in town, anything is possible.