However, fortunately for Ann, I’ve discovered we no longer have to rely purely on thread count – we have single ply, dual ply or triple ply to worry about.

So Ann can opt for the triple ply with a thread count of 500, confident in the knowledge this adds up to 1,500, therefore beating Felicity into second place in their fight for social dominance.

But life would be too easy if this was all we had to concern ourselves with.

As a result of which, pima cotton is now growing in popularity, supposedly more durable than just plain old Egyptian, which is starting to look a little 2007 for my liking.

In my quest for the perfect bedding, it occurred to me that life was a long way from survival nowadays as I rummaged for some dual-ply 500 count sheets.

In fact, there must be an argument somewhere stating the human race has outlived its usefulness when we reach the “worrying about thread count in our bedding” stage of our evolution.

As with everything, though, once manufacturers realise our growing interest in thread counts, then this stretches to other areas of our slightly vacuous live – for example, the humble towel.

Once something to dry ourselves on, it is now a lifestyle choice, hence my recent purchase of some organic pima cotton towels.

Finally, I managed to track down some sheets made of the finest cotton known to man (it’s a cross between Egyptian and Pima grown in a humid environment to prevent drying), they’re triple-ply with a thread count so high it was impossible to fit all the digits onto the packaging.

They are spectacularly smooth and so fine that light bounces off them as if they were a mirror, although they do have a downside – every time I get into bed, I just slide right out.