DENIS COOVERMAN, the valedictorian of Buffalo Grove High School with incredible grades and a place at Stanford University, decides to declare his feelings for a girl who doesn’t know he exists.

His declaration in front of the entire school guarantees him a pummelling at the hands of Beth’s military-bound boyfriend Kevin, but Beth’s reaction comes as a surprise: “You embarrassed me, but it was so sweet . . . I’ll let you live.”

Denis asks her to his house for a party and she turns up with gal pals Cammy (Lauren London) and Treece (Lauren Storm) in tow. Over the course of an eventful night, the hormone-driven teenagers discover they have more in common than they thought.

I Love You, Beth Cooper is a peculiar amalgamation of sweet romance, gross-out humour and pure filth that charms, disturbs and bores in equal measure.

As the sun rises, Beth stares into Denis’s eyes and asks, “Do you still love me?”

We’d have to say no.

I LOVE YOU, BETH COOPER (Cert. 15, 101 mins)
Stars: Paul Rust, Hayden Panettiere, Jack T Carpenter, Lauren London, Lauren Storm, Shawn Roberts
Directed by Chris Columbus.