The John Sergeant award went to Ricky Groves. The juiciest insults for him. “Like a comatose tortoise,” spat Bruno on the rictus grin he sported for his Cha Cha, while
Chris Hollins looked like “a hamster with toothache,” during his rumba.
Natalie Cassidy remained unperturbed her quickstep was described by Craig as laboured and lumbersome, “like a flat tyre.” But he sniffed “not a complete disaster”.
Austin Healy filled popped a nimble cartwheel into his jive and, accused of campness, shot back a jibe about Craig’s alleged fondness for the Liverpool dock area.
Arlene seemed to be playing it safe. Her most waspish attack came after Brian and Ali’s rumba; his said Rio; hers said damp sand and Southport. Hmm.
The professionals’ tango at the end, where a gossamer light waltz exploded - literally - into a sizzling tango was a perfect finale.
The judges’ choice for the night was Mark and Kristina Rihanoff. There might be no Champions League silverware this season - but the glitterball was Liverpool’s.
