THE most intriguing thing about James Stewart’s one-act play, Heart, is the relationship between the protagonist, Johnnie, and the friend he has despised since childhood.

Unfortunately, their rivalry is never fully explored and the friend, Peter, barely puts in an appearance, leaving actor Chris Hitchen to get on with fulfilling a host of other roles including, bizarrely, a dog and a horribly stereotyped gay hairdresser.

Instead, Peter’s affair with Johnnie’s girlfriend is the catalyst for the latter’s quest to find a new heart after literally vomiting the original into the toilet as a reaction to uncovering the infidelity.

Stewart’s script is lyrical and there are some pretty descriptions, but its surreal quality and monologue-style would work better as an animation or short story than on stage.

But even then the road to Johnnie’s recovery would need to be paved with more interesting encounters than he meets in this version – an old lady giving advice in the sewers under London is about as good as it gets.

And there are too many jarring references to Liverpool landmarks shoehorned into the script before the happy-ever-after ending that is so trite that you wish you’d vomited up your own heart and didn’t have to stomach it.

Laura Davis