Flying the flag is what sets Kopites apart

May 23 2007 by Chris Bascombe, Liverpool Echo

NO-ONE celebrated Rafa Benitez’s semi-final victory over Chelsea more than the chief executive of Bensons for Beds.

Shares in his business hit an annual peak every May as another Liverpool cup final creates a rush for fresh mattress sheets to transform into suitably awe inspiring banners.

When the red half of Merseyside invades, the centres of major European cities are decked out in more duvets than you’d find in a hotel linen cupboard. No club provokes an outbreak of standard bearing more than those of Liverpool.

The distinction with fans of other clubs was never more pronounced than during the semi-final when Chelsea handed out 40,000 customised flags from their club shop and invited a posh chap in a designer suit onto the pitch to urge their supporters to give them a good wave.

They were so small and slightly pathetic, some thought the flags might have been inspired by the career of Dennis Wise.

The contrast with The Kop, the sprawling mass of humanity which takes upon a glorious appearance of a patchwork quilt of witty, profane, poignant, crude and sometimes downright unintelligible slogans, seemed to sum up the difference between working class football culture and the nouveau rich.

There appear to be no set rules for constructing the perfect banner, other than a willingness to strip as many mattresses as physically possible and the capacity to thread a yarn without your mates thinking you’ve gone soft.

Within the broad constraints, however, classic Liverpool banners tend to fit four criteria.

Least popular have to come under the category which can be dubbed ‘ the ever-so-slightly pompous’.

These tend to include obscure lines from famous films or a nod to romantic poetry.

In recent years, the most notable arrived in 2001. “What We Achieve in Life, Echoes in Eternity,” it read.

William Blake? Lord Byron? Actually, this was the advertising slogan for the film Gladiator, adopted when Liverpool won in Rome. The fact it’s incredibly pretentious didn’t matter when Michael Owen scored two away goals. You could just about buy the sentiments, but clearly they’re conditional on victory.

Rumours abound that the film’s director Ridley Scott may have exploited the cup success of Gerard Houllier’s team to promote his movie. With eight Oscars, a UEFA Cup, a Carling Cup and an FA Cup to celebrate a few months later, who’s arguing?

More enigmatic, from the same Euro run, was the line: “Wine for my men, we ride at dawn.”

Quite what this has to do with Liverpool or football remains unfathomable since the majority of players sit firmly in the beer drinking camp and the only ride they’re interested in at dawn tends to follow a heavy night after a particularly memorable win.

Rather annoyingly, even the banners’ creators had no idea where the saying originated, which to some added to the mystique but retrospectively makes it look rather pointless when compared to more accessible favourites.

Category two, which is a lot less creative but several hundred times funnier, involves the shameful humiliation of Merseyside celebrities, especially DJs called Pete Price.

Sadly, the remarks about the ubiquitous Mr Price can’t be repeated for legal and conscientious reasons, but he accepts it in the right spirit.

The thought process which inspires a fan to use one of the greatest showpiece occasions in sporting history to target him is cruel, brutal and utterly unnecessary, yet strangely compelling. See the latest addition to the Pete Price catalogue in Athens this week and try to stop yourself having a little chuckle. You see? You can’t.

Category three relies on the irresistible desire to brown nose. The trend usually means comparing Gerrard, Carragher or Fowler to icons from the European country Liverpool happen to be playing. Thus, if the Scouse trio don’t find themselves hailed as Greek Gods by numerous banners splattered across the Olympic Stadium, the sense of surprise will overshadow the feelings of huge disappointment.

Finally, we have the masterpieces. There are banners which achieve the seemingly impossible and become as much emblems of the final as the winning goals or saved penalties.

In 1977, the banner which declared “Joey Ate the Frogs Legs, made the Swiss Roll and now he’s Munching Gladbach” became as synonymous with Liverpool’s victory in Rome as Tommy Smith’s header and Phil Neal’s penalty.

The 2005 final was such a classic, few banners were capable of eclipsing events on the pitch.

However, had the game not been so memorable, it’s highly likely the wag who penned “Champions League? We’re ‘Avin Kebabs” would have seen his effort take pride of place in the folklore department of the club museum.

The 2007 campaign is promising to take levels of Scouse creativity to unparalleled levels, with a recurring theme.

“Special One, My Arse,” was a less than moving welcome to Anfield for Jose Mourinho.

“You were right. It wasn’t over the line. Ha, Ha,” also aimed at Mourinho, was the undisputed king of The Kop during the second leg.

Already spotted in Athens is: “Give us back our banner, Jose, and we’ll give you back your dog.”

It must be acknowledged there are no fans in Christendom like Liverpudlians when it comes to giving themselves a pat on the back and declaring their own superiority.

Websites have been created listing the top 100 Anfield banners. When regularly confronted with such timid opposition in rival stands (Stamford Bridge was a new low) the self-congratulation isn’t surprising.

If Istanbul is the blueprint upon which events in this year’s final will be judged, AC Milan’s hopes of reversing their fortunes of 2005 are limited solely to proceedings on the pitch.

They failed to sell their ticket allocation for the Ataturk Stadium, while the scrawny 17,000 seats which provoked outrage on Merseyside were probably welcomed as a generous offering in Italy.

Milan’s players may have the power to claim revenge for two years ago, but from Kiev through to Eindhoven, Bordeaux, Barcelona and West London, it’s clear the gold medal in this year’s banner hoisting Olympics will remain the exclusive property of the boys from the Mersey.

• CHECK out our brilliant gallery of pictures from the Reds trip to Athens - click here