CHRISTMAS. The first day of a whole week off for most of us, with added eating and all- round indulgence.

Dec 22 2007 by Emma Pinch, Liverpool Daily Post

THE Nativity. Liverpool’s brilliant live production on BBC3, below, netted three quarters of a million viewers.

CRACKERS with a conscience. Goodbye to rubbish novelties that get eaten by the sofa and hello to Tesco’s charity version, which give milk and penicillin to the needy.

GLITTER, satin and feathers. The only time of year we can get away with all three, without drag queens getting on to their unions.

WORKING when the rest of the world assumes you’re scoffing Quality Street in front of afternoon Disney films.

HUGE handbags. On average, we’re filling them up with five pounds of junk. No wonder we can’t find our keys.

PARKING. Wouldn’t it be nice if people loading up on Christmas goodies managed to park within the lines.

CELEBRITY perfumes. Chanelle from BB? Eau de desperation.