How to live up to your New Year resolutions

Jan 1 2008 by Emma Pinch, Liverpool Daily Post

Everyone has good intentions at this time of year but, as Emma Pinch discovers, they often don’t make it past the end of January

AS FESTIVE traditions go, it ranks up there with queuing at Marks & Spencer’s returns counter on December 27, and goes something like this.

New Year’s Eve, 10pm. Giving your spare tyre a pat you confidently declare that this is “all going to go next year”, and as soon as you’ve polished off the last dribble of Cava and crumb of kettle chip, a year of Carol Vorderman-like purity will unfold.

Unfortunately, if you’re anything like the rest of us, mere days will see that steely self-discipline dissipate as fast as a sachet of Resolve in a glass of water.

Statistics show that half of New Year’s resolutions don’t even make it until the end of January and more than 70% have fallen by the wayside by the following Christmas.

But, in a heady triumph of hope over experience, this time of year sees us falling in love afresh with the idea of the snowy white sheet before us.

Even our goals don’t change – honing our shape or health, learning the guitar or quelling the anarchy that passes for our financial state of affairs.

The next stage is similarly predictable.

Resolutions A and B require a satisfyingly exhausting shop for new equipment, which as everyone knows, is nearly as good as achieving your resolution and it staves off failure for a week or so.

As for the remaining one, well, just as soon as the lean days of January are through.

If it all sounds depressingly familiar, take heart, because with the right preparation and mindset you can boost your chances of success to make it a genuinely ‘new’ year.

Dr Paul Waring, a chartered psychologist who runs Be Life Coaching on Rodney Street, Liverpool, has compiled five winning tips which can be used for anything from cutting down on drinking to learning a new skill.

BE SPECIFIC about your aims.

“Resolutions such as “I want to be fitter” or “I want to lose weight” are too vague,” says Dr Waring. “Make a written plan to break your resolution down into small, manageable steps to keep you moving forward. Avoid setting yourself too much to do. It can seem like looking up to the top of the mountain. We can’t climb a mountain in one step, so we’re unlikely to try.”

BE REALISTIC.

Is it really what you want or are you doing it because someone feels you should? Ask yourself why this resolution is important to you. Make sure you have the time it requires and that you are realistic in your goals. “There is no reason to set more than one or two resolutions,” says Dr Waring. “If you try to focus on too many resolutions at once you reduce your chances of success. And remember, don’t try to change the habits of a lifetime overnight.”

HARNESS brain power.

Planning what you are going to do and how employs the most sophisticated part of the brain – the frontal lobes, which help us plan, reason and take action. “When people procrastinate and have thoughts such as ‘I'm too tired’ or ‘I can’t do this anymore, it’s too difficult’, it shows the emotional brain is beginning to dominate,” says Dr Waring. “Combat it by becoming aware of negative thoughts. Learn to develop the habit of what psychologists refer to as ‘positive self-talk’”.

Remind yourself how important your resolution is to you. “Tell yourself ‘be bothered’ or ‘just get started’ or ask yourself ‘what small thing can I do today?’,” he adds.

Also, close your eyes for a few moments and imagine your life once you’ve achieved your resolution. What does it feel like? How are you and your life different?

BE FLEXIBLE.

It may be that what you set out to do was unrealistic or is not achievable in your current circumstances. “If this is the case, be aware of thinking too rigidly about things, for example ‘I’m not going to be able to do this now, I might as well give up’ or ‘I’ve not managed to keep going so I’ve failed’. In these situations, revise your resolution in terms of what is ‘do-able’ right now.”

GO EASY on yourself.

Remember to pat yourself on the back for your achievements along the way, and don’t expect too much of yourself or become impatient for change to happen quicker. “Life has a habit of throwing things up that can knock us out of our stride for a time and progress might seem like going three steps forward and two steps back sometimes,” says Dr Waring. “Again, try to be good to yourself if this happens and don’t blame yourself.

“Remind yourself that you are still moving forward even if you have a setback.”

emma.pinch