Madeleine McCann: Grandparents speak out on first anniversary of abduction

Apr 28 2008 by Paddy Shennan

Madeline McCann's grandparents, Brian and Susan Healy _320

"But some people want to write anything at all to make her appear less caring about her children and more caring for herself.

"I am absolutely amazed at the strength she has shown. I know she feels she let Madeleine down. The only way she can cope is by trying 100% to get Madeleine back. She can’t possibly give up because the twins deserve everything they had before."

This mention of three-year-olds Sean and Amelie, as with so many things the grandparents say during the course of our conversation – a conversation punctuated by the tears which occasionally fall down Susan’s face and the unutterable sadness in Brian’s eyes – prompts memories of happier times.

"When you see the two of them laughing together now," says Brian, the proudest of grandads, "it’s always in your mind that there should be three of them laughing."

So much has happened in this past year from hell – and yet, so little has happened. Nothing, essentially, has changed since Thursday, May 3, 2007 – Madeleine went missing that night in the Portuguese resort of Praia da Luz, and she is still missing.

It’s impossible to imagine what Madeleine’s family have gone through and continue to go through – and it’s hard enough for them to comprehend what has happened and is happening to them.

Susan says: "It’s quite frightening to think that 12 months has almost gone by – 12 months since we were sitting in this room and just expecting the ‘phone to go, and hearing they had found Madeleine.

"Maybe the way I’m feeling at the moment – and I’m feeling probably the worst I’ve felt for the whole year – I suppose I am a bit frightened and panicking that we still haven’t got Madeleine back.

"I’ve found myself thinking a lot about Madeleine now; what she’s doing, who she’s with and is she OK. There’s almost a feeling of panic and of needing to know the answers overtaking me. I am struggling more than I have before.

"When the six months was marked I felt . . . I was quite happy with the buzz going out and busy organising things. But I feel a bit flat now and I don’t want this stage to be reached.

"And if anything needs organising I want it done without me taking part. I don’t feel I have the strength. I feel quite squashed and depressed."

Fighting back the tears again, she adds: "In the earlier days it was new and we were coping with our emotions because we were kept busy organising things.

"I think, now, we have done all that and, somehow, there’s nothing to protect you and you are thinking constantly about Madeleine and her situation. And there’s a fear, I suppose, that people will accept that Madeleine has gone."

* TOMORROW: The moment our lives changed forever.

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