EVEN if you really can’t stand any sport other than football, you can’t have failed to have heard that Formula One have changed their rules this season, and as a result the competition has been turned on its head.
Previous no-hopers are winning races and the likes of Lewis Hamilton’s car is handling like your old geography teacher’s Citroen 2CV.
The English driver and his fans are clearly not too happy about the new state of affairs, but the changes do seem to have reinvigorated interest in a sport that year on year has been referred to as a procession, such has been the domination of certain teams.
Have you figured where this is heading yet?
If the powers that be in football want to shake things up and answer those critics who complain about the lack of competitiveness in many of Europe’s top leagues – most notably England’s – then why don’t they look at introducing some completely arbitrary new rules?
Okay, we all know that they want nothing of the sort, and they are perfectly happy with the status quo, but, you know, try to be a little bit indulgent of this flight of fancy in an international week with only the prospect of a league match against Wigan at the weekend.
The possibilities and permutations are endless. Extra points could be awarded for, say, really long throws, making Stoke City favourites for the title, or perhaps the trophy could go to the side with the most ludicrously large squad, finally ending Liverpool’s long wait.
If having the most softly spoken and apologetic-looking manager equated to trophies, then Gareth Southgate’s Middlesbrough would be looking good while Alexander Gaydamak would be regretting giving Tony Adams the bullet.
And talking of bullets, if the club most capable of shooting itself in the foot was crowned champions then there would be one hell of a tussle at the top between Newcastle United and Manchester City.
An even more tightly contested league than that would occur if UEFA decided that top honours should go to the side with the most self-regarding manager – you’d struggle to get a cigarette paper between Sam Allardyce and Phil Brown there.
