THE summer transfer rumour mill trundles on unabated, as we patiently wait for news of top-quality arrivals who will transform us into Premiership Champions.
If Rafa really was as frustrated with the snail-like Anfield negotiation process as he sounded after the Champions League final, then he must feel like firing rockets at several administrative backsides as the promised signings still seem as far away as ever.
All that we can be reasonably certain of at the moment is that West Ham have turned down our offer of four sticks of chewing gum, a rubber snake and a conker for Yossi Benayoun, and that Fernando Torres is the prime target to join Andriy Voronin as the latest recruit to our growing club of free-scoring foreign forwards who can’t cut the mustard in the Premiership (Hon. Presidents D Cisse , F Morientes).
Diego Forlan, of course, is a fully paid up member of another branch of this particular fraternity, and the frequency with which we have been mentioned in the same sentence as this United reject in recent weeks has been enough to send a shiver down many a Kopite’s spine.
It looks like David Villa and Samuel Eto’o are staying put, and the price quoted by Charlton for Darren Bent would imply that there must be two of them.
With Lyon and Benfica denying any contact with regard to Florent Malouda and Simao respectively, you do begin to wonder whether Rick Parry’s mobile is out of credit, or Tom Hicks’ credit card is maxed out.
Of course, the means by which these transfers are conducted remains a mystery to most of us, and no doubt there is (totally legal) contact behind the scenes with the players’ representatives to ensure that we’re not wasting our time submitting formal bids which are unlikely to be accepted.
Also our competitors haven’t exactly been splashing the cash either so far, with the exception of he-who-can’t-be-named down the East Lancs road.
However pre-season training is getting closer by the day, and we need as much time as possible to integrate the new players so that we don’t suffer the catastrophic slow start that has ruined our last two Premiership campaigns.
While we don’t want to be held to ransom by clubs trying to run an auction for their players, a couple of million over the odds which speeds things up a bit will surely be a sound investment in the long run.
We’re also on the receiving end of other clubs’ speculation of course.
Apart from the usual nonsense linking Gerrard with Milan, Juventus, Mars and the Crab Nebula, most speculation has surrounded the future of Craig ‘Tiger Woods’ Bellamy, with the odd mention of Kewell, Hyypia and (don’t get your hopes up) Riise.
I’d find it hard to be too upset at Bellamy’s departure, whose talent is always I feel going to be submerged under his accompanying baggage.
When Alan Shearer is moved to make a public denouncement of his character, you really do have to take notice.
One player who it seems will not be departing is Scott Carson, who Rafa has effectively told to have a bench fitted to his behind for the season.
You really do need two top keepers these days, but it must be difficult for a player of Scott’s undoubted ability to accept an understudy role.
Despite Reina’s excellent form last season after a shaky start, I still think Carson has a chance at Anfield, if we can only keep him happy about his prospects.
After the experience he’s had with England recently, he won’t settle for reserve team football for long.
