DAVID BECKHAM insists he will never walk away from England.
As he stands on the brink of a record 109th cap, Beckham has admitted for virtually the first time that he thought his days as a top- line player were over when he was dumped by Steve McClaren in 2006.
Informed by answering machine message that his services were no longer required, the 33-year-old’s confidence was shattered.
Through sheer persistence and force of will, the Londoner went on to end that season as a title-winner in Spain and even got his England place back.
But the psychological damage had been done and he said yesterday: "I have had a lot of ups and downs in my career but being left out of the England squad was a big low. It knocked my confidence a lot and it affected me.
"I just assumed I wouldn’t play for my country again. They were playing well and I just thought: ‘That’s it’."
It was that mindset that Beckham took into any negotiations over his career as his contract with Real Madrid entered its final season.
Under such circumstances, it is easy to see how the lure of life in Major League Soccer began to look attractive. AC Milan did make a move, but it came too late to halt one of the most bewildering transfers of recent times.
Even now, Beckham will not say he regrets the decision. But ask him where he feels happiest, in the USA or Milan, who maintained their interest and took him on a loan deal in January which has now been renegotiated into a more complicated timeshare, and the answer is straightforward.
"I didn’t feel my legs had gone but confidence-wise, maybe," he said.
"When I went to Milan, I didn’t know whether I was going to play a game or whether I would be able to keep up with the pace of some of the players in the team.
"But I surprised myself. The confidence is back that I can still play at this level.
"I went to Los Angeles to try something different and the game is still growing there. However, I was quite happy to get the Milan thing sorted.
"I have to be playing at the highest level to put me in a position to carry on getting picked for England. Being at Milan doesn’t guarantee me a place but, in my own head, it gives me the satisfaction of knowing I have done everything to be in that position."
