First of all – why are you a Blue and not a Red?

My dad was a Celtic fan, so no family allegiance to Everton or Liverpool. It was Emyln Hughes saying those immortal and misjudged words in 1977: “Liverpool are magic, Everton are tragic.” My fate was sealed after that. I was a nine-year-old lad and Emyln put me on the right path for the rest of my days.

Usual warm reception for Liverpool fans on Saturday then?

I hope we always welcome the Scandinavians to Goodison. No doubt John Lennon Airport will be busy again with them all flying in. Is it true they will be singing you’ll Never Walk Alone in Swedish this weekend?

What do you think of Liverpool’s start to the season?

Same as always, a few wins, and they are going to win the title for the first time in 19 years come May. Then a mighty side like Stoke comes to Anfield and shows them up for what they really are, which is light years away, financially and skill-wise, from United and Chelsea.

What do you make of Rafa’s new signings?

Robbie Keane, a good player but nowhere near his £20m price tag for a 28-year-old. As for the others, never heard of them but it’s nice to see Rafa giving the local kids a go with his youth policy. The reserve side looks like a who’s who of the United Nations.

Which Liverpool player do you wish you had?

Pepe Reina – only because our keeper has turned into a latter day Bruce Grobbelaar.

You claim you don’t care what they say. But the ‘small club’ thing must have wound you up?

You can only laugh at that comment. Nine League titles, five FA Cups, European honours, small club. Rafa certainly does not know his history.

Kenwright or Hicks and Gillett?

For all his faults Blue Bill – but Waldorf and Statler, sorry Gillett and Hicks, are doing a fine job over there, so leave them alone.

Moyes or Rafa?

Moyes hands down. If Moyesy had half the budget at Rafa’s disposal we would see a different Blues. The owners at Liverpool are distracting the fans from Benitez’s inadequacies. In the past two seasons they have won as much as us, and Benitez is living off his draw in Istanbul in 2005.

Cahill or Gerrard?

Gerrard is superb, who carries Liverpool season in, season out, no doubt about that, and we all know he is an Evertonian at heart. But Tiny Tim is Everton’s talisman and I would be hard pressed to see him replaced by anyone.

As for the game, you must be worried about the way you’re defending at the moment?

Our defending is shocking, no doubt about it, we are playing like those Liverpool legends of old Glenn Hysen and Mark Wright. We are missing Harry Hill big time.

And finally, how do you see the derby going?

Home win, if they score two, we will score three. Feed the Yak and he will score!