RELAXING in his luxurious Virgin Trains carriage, Mr Brocklebank’s eyes strayed to the glossy in-train magazine, Hotline. Turning to Page 57, his attention was caught by the “Eat, shop and sleep” in Liverpool and London feature.
Imagine his surprise to find this illustrated by a photo of the fountain outside Birmingham Town Hall, and text which burbled that hourly London trains ran to Liverpool Central (a purely local underground station since the 1970s). Neither was there any mention of the glorious Liverpool One shoperama. Curiouser and curiouser, as Alice in Litherland says.
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IT MUST be funny – I heard it from a Scouser: At Liverpool’s Chavasse Park relaunch: “There’s much less grass than there was before.” Perhaps it should be renamed Chavasse Lawn?
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BILLY BUTLER, the legendary Liverpool wit and BBC Radio Merseyside presenter, was in his studio relaxing after a hard day’s broadcasting during which the success of La Machine, the giant mechanical spider, which visited these shores last week, was debated.
After hearing various opinions, the aficionado of British and American comics smiled ruefully before saying: “It’s a good thing that it wasn’t swatted by one of our traffic wardens.”
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QUOTE of the year must be from the commentators on the Tour of Britain cycling race finish in Liverpool, who said of the city’s part: “This has been a truly professionally organised event.” How sweet to hear those words about us.
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WHY was no planning application submitted for the garish 100ft long banner puffing new flats on the Cesar “salad” Pelli building, by Grosvenor’s Liverpool One, although surely the company must have enough in-house experts to man a complete planning department?
When told about this inconvenience, they naively replied they were unaware an application was needed in this World Heritage Site. Permission for the banner was then passed by delegated powers (ie, retrospectively), so the public was not allowed their say. So much for local democracy.
Using this precedent, if you live in a conservation area, why not try going ahead without planning permission and erect a garden shed?
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WHILE the straw bales remain in place for the Tour of Britain bike race finale circuit in Liverpool city centre, why not consider staging a Formula 1 road race – a real crowd-puller as London comprehensively proved a few years ago?
Better still, why not follow this up with a bigger bread ’n’ circus pleaser by getting city councillors to run round chased by local government national auditors so we can see who’s got F1 ability? Doubtless, there will be plenty of oil leaks, with skidding on the slicks. Watch out!
