JAMES BOND has been hanging out in our building again. I deduce this because there is a sign in the lift that has to have been written just for him.

It reads: “Press alarm if lift breaks down, do not attempt escape.”

Has this situation occurred before?, I wonder.

Imagine scores of journalists and advertising sales people prying up the corner of the metal ceiling with a ball-point and hoisting themselves through the gap.

How claustrophobic would you have to be to prefer risking a treacherous route through creeper-like cables as an urban Tarzan to waiting it out in a confined space.

There was no need for such a sign for me.

I have studied the ceiling tiles and they are not those easily-removed ones that they have in action films so I won’t be getting out that way.

Also my shoes aren’t really built for clambering through the office ventilation system and I don’t want to rip my dress.

Besides, there are lots of wires up there, and a 20ft drop – it’s just too damn dangerous and I don’t need a sign to tell me not to do it.

Maybe it’s a health and safety issue.

Can you sue if you lose a limb swinging on lift cables when there isn’t a warning on the wall?

Surely common sense should prevail.

I was thinking about this while reading an article about chimpanzees who are able to build their own tools to help them find beehives and extract the honey inside.

They create levers from wood to demolish the walls within a hive and bark spoons to scoop out their ill-gotten gains.