EXCUSE me for stating the blooming obvious, but footballers frequently fake fouls.

We all knew that – I hear you cry (even if we can’t say it very quickly after a few glasses of wine).

Well, yes, we did, but now it’s been officially and, most importantly, scientifically confirmed.

Now that’s a relief.

Does this mean that they will finally stop rolling around on the pitch like . . . I would say a baby except that, unlike certain footballers, they’re pretty good at snuffing out their tears after a tumble.

Nope, nothing of the sort. But it might help referees spot when they’re doing it.

Psychologist Dr Paul Morris, of the University of Portsmouth, has come up with a four-point guide to recognising a false dive.

The first three we could all have come up with:

1. Clutching their body where they have not been hit;

2. Taking an extra roll when they hit the ground;

3. Taking fully controlled strides after being tackled before falling.

The fourth is more comical and in another arenas would be praised as a particularly dramatic piece of physical theatre, or a great dying cowboy impression in a game of charades.

It involves . . . “holding up both arms in the air, with open palms, chest thrust out, legs bent at the knee in an ‘archer’s bow’ position”.

Sound familiar?

This one, according to Dr Morris and anyone with even vague observational skills, is one of the most revealing, as it would not occur in a natural fall.

This is the ultimate faked foul – impossible to do by accident.

Dr Morris explains: “In most dishonest tackles, the behaviour itself does not indicate dishonesty, the deception is revealed in the timing and co-ordination of the behaviours.

“But one action is unique to a faked fall – the archer’s bow.”

The accompanied histrionics, he continues, are needed to get the referee’s attention and convince him to declare a yellow/red card.

But, before we all start blaming particular teams for the prevalence of such manoeuvres on Premiership pitches, it should be pointed out that, according to Dr Morris, “everyone does it”.

To come to this conclusion, he showed four-second clips of tackles from televised games to more than 300 people – one man’s treat is another man’s poison.

They got to see the clip twice in real-time before they were asked to spot the fakers.

The result was unanimous every time.

Which is not a shocking piece of evidence, is it? A false dive is usually decided by general consensus in the pub – at least as long as the match-day viewers are supporting the opposing team.

In a second study, Dr Morris tested whether the observers’ judgment was correct and could be trusted by employing 30-plus experienced amateur footballers to stage a scenario taken from a Football Association coaching manual.

Attackers were instructed to dribble the ball past approaching defenders and then deceptively exaggerate the effects of a tackle to varying degrees.

Again, the 50 observers were consistent in their judgments.

Finally, he examined footage of dishonest and legitimate tackles frame-by-frame to produce his four-point list of deceptions.

With that under his belt, it’s time he applied his research methods to other bad behaviour.

I would suggest . . . the five-point guide to recognising a queue jumper, three over-the-phone verbal indications of pulling a sickie and seven ways to tell if someone is exaggerating how exciting their life is on Facebook.

READ more of Laura’s columns at www.liverpool dailypost.co.uk/ lauradavis

lauradavis