IS CLEANLINESS next to godliness? The academics at Brigham Young University, in the US, certainly think so, as their research paper, The Smell of Virtue, affirms.
With more than a whiff of self-righteousness, it asserts that mucky people are less moral. The strap-line seems to imply that effluent isn’t ethical, that scrubbing and scruples are one and the same.
Hmm. I would like to refer to another venerable Stateside authority on this issue – the great Joan Rivers. Not known for her domestic goddess tendencies, the American comedian has stated: “All that cleaning, polishing, dusting – and, six months later, you have to start all over again.”
And Joan would never claim to be spiritually spotless – who would? Yet she generally seems to have a handle on life’s priorities.
Not that having a clean home isn’t important. I hate that smug little postcard which says “Only boring women have tidy houses”.
No, staggeringly dull women can also be mucky so and sos, with no idea which way to handle a turbo-charged Dyson or an extendable feather duster.
Or tell a good tale at a dinner party.
Humdrum ladies can have houses which hum; dull domains can also be full of detrimental detritus. Similarly, your average femme fatale can also be a dab hand with a pair of rubber gloves and a pan scrubber, when the mood takes her. The only problem is, it probably doesn’t take her as often as it should.
But does it make her a bad person? Are sludge and slime sinful? Dust and dross depraved?
Having no grime and grot in the homestead does not alter your relationship with the world, make you view things differently, or treat people better. It doesn’t make you a kinder, more decent, more patient human being.
In fact, with two teenage sons whose bedrooms resemble a primeval swamp, for the sake of my own sanity, I have to assume a serene, Zen-like state each time I enter their territory, or it would constantly be World War III in our house.
My nerves would be shot to pieces and I would be constantly screaming like a harpie.
As all the therapists would say, the trick is to view the smut differently. So I have to rise above it.
Indeed, I have thus become a much nicer, more tolerant person because of their gunk.
I should really be very grateful for this moral edification. I need more filth, not less.
