BORED, tired of watching Murder She Wrote on an afternoon, looking for something exciting but you’ve already been sky-diving before breakfast.

Here’s an idea; have you been to Martin Mere Wetland Centre?

Oh, I know what you’re thinking, it sounds too much, well don’t be alarmed, there’s adequate car parking, a cafe and medical facilities are available at the hospital down the road.

So, in a bid to step life up a gear, we scheduled a day out at the bird sanctuary although, to be fair, we didn’t realise the day would be so chock-a-block with danger, tension and mystery.

Let’s start with the danger – oh, the danger.

It was only minutes after stepping onto the well-mapped paths the first hazard revealed itself, when I found myself sliding uncontrollably on bird droppings towards a small pond.

In a bid to save myself, I threw the bird feed to the side causing quite a bit of commotion among the Mandarin ducks, who waddled to salvage what they could from my misfortune.

Luckily I found my balance, thereby averting disaster – although, on the plus side, the ducks ate very well indeed.

So far, so unexpectedly exciting for a day out at a bird sanctuary.

The next challenge involved making it past some very big and quite aggressive looking swans.

Certainly for a regal animal, their social etiquette is a little disappointing.

I feared the worst if they were ever allowed to walk around among their loyal subjects.