I own just two pairs of trousers that are suitable for work and can barely spell Berghaus, never mind bring myself to wear one of their jackets.

I own some hats – but they tend to come from Philip Treacy, rather than The North Face.

I do own gloves, so I suppose that is something. But I am loath to buy anything thermal because . . . do I really need to give a reason why?

I have come to the conclusion that the words warm and stylish do not belong in the same sentence.

Don’t get me wrong – there is some gorgeous knitwear out there but a Stella McCartney sweater-dress and a pair of thick, ribbed tights are far from adequate clothing when you are standing on a railway platform at temperatures of minus 12. Believe me, I tried it.

At the weekend, things got so bad that I was forced to adopt a substance over style approach which resulted in a trip to Asda wearing leggings, jeans, bedsocks, wellies, a polo neck, a jumper, my husband’s beanie (!) and a gilet which has not made it out of the wardrobe since 2004 – aka the Sienna Miller years.

Thankfully, no-one saw me. No-one I know anyway.

If the weather doesn’t start to improve soon, I am not sure what I will do.

There appear to be only two options on the cards: either I invest in a Chanel ski suit à la Victoria Beckham or I employ a driver.

I wonder which would be cheapest?