FIRST pet + mother’s maiden name = your porn actor alias.
But you knew that already, right? It is a formula as famous as E = MC(2) and certainly more commonly used by your average Joe.
My porn name is the mind-boggling “7-Up Wilson”. My wife, who is of Polish stock, would be Fluffy Gordzjaeck.
Anyway, porn names are old hat. This season it is all about your Fatwa Name.
Salman Rushdie, who lived under an Islamic death threat for ten years following publication of The Satanic Verses, has revealed that he chose the pseudonym “Joseph Anton” for his bank account, driving licence and the like.
He chose this alias by combining the Christian names of the authors Joseph Conrad and Anton Chekhov. Surely this is a game we can all play?
I suggest that we all create our Fatwa Name by taking the first name of the first author we read and the surname of the one we are currently reading.
That would make me Roald Hemingway. I could live with that, although I must confess to having massaged the truth a little to make me sound cleverer and better read.
Still, I would rather take my chances with the fundamentalists than walk into HSBC and open a bank account in the name of Beano Archer.
