Updated 3:19am 11 January 2013

Mr Brocklebank: Oyez! Oyez! Mr B’s 2012 dishonours list

MR BROCKLEBANK’S American counterpart Bill Vaughan once said: “An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.”

And for some involved in or occasionally thrown up against the world of Merseyside politics, there were moments of 2012 that won’t be remembered fondly.

So, in the name of contrariness, Mr B would like to take this opportunity to raid his year’s musings and remind us of some of those sticky moments.

The year began with the release of all the 1981 cabinet papers about the Toxteth riots, in which former chancellor of the exchequer Sir Geoffrey Howe appeared to advocate the “managed decline” of Liverpool. Needless to say, when Mr B’s colleague contacted Sir Geoffrey (now Lord Howe), he couldn’t recall saying that.

In March, former Liberal Democrat city leader Warren Bradley admitted perjury after an electoral fraud case which centred around his son’s signature being faked on a nomination to stand as a councillor. “A complete tragedy”, his solicitor James Murray said – a tragedy rivalled only by the collapse of more or less the entire Liverpool’s Lib Dems.

MAY saw the release of the now infamous Merseyrail ‘dossier’ that led to the resignation of chairman Mark Dowd.

It of course followed a bit of political infighting within the Labour contingent on the body, a theme continued into June when Mayor of Liverpool Joe Anderson, in a leaked email, attacked ex-Walton MP Peter Kilfoyle’s decision to stand as police commissioner, claiming he wanted someone who would be “accountable” to the party – obviously not having heard of the oath of independence PCCs are required to take.

July was a great month for leaks, too, with Liverpool Cllr Pam ‘Hyacinth Bucket’ Thomas’s diktat that female councillors should tidy themselves up, and banning cardigans. So it was only fair the good gentlemen of the press unearthed a picture of her wearing that very attire herself.

And there was more dictating to come that month, when chief whip Cllr Alan Dean demanded that members did not put down motions raising problems until the solution had been found.

August saw the cancellation of the final day of the Mathew Street festival vomit-fest, while in September the council introduced a controversial ‘wet zone’ for plonkies.

But city Cllr Hayley Todd prompted the biggest collective heave in November when she tweeted that Uncle Joe’s oratory reminded her of Barack Obama’s – soon after she received a Merseytravel seat with his support.

And it was back to square one in December with the Mayor’s claims that government cuts could result in “civil unrest”, appearing to provoke Eric Pickles to mockingly compare Joe to Nostradamus.

So does Joe already know what Mr B will be writing this year?

Whatever it is, Mr B predicts he won’t like some of it at all.

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