Lands End to John O’Groats? That’ll be £1bn, please

Apr 14 2008 by Peter Elson, Liverpool Daily Post

THERE’S no contest that this week’s award for Best Barmy Brit – And Proud of It is awarded to Richard Elloway, who in an epic journey of courage, endurance, perseverance and heroism became the first man to travel by bus from Land’s End to John O’Groats.

The nearest equivalent I can think of is Joseph Conrad’s fictionalised journey up the Congo into The Heart of Darkness in which Marlow finds the elusive Kurtz.

Mr Elloway’s record breaking journey took seven days, six hours and 10 minutes, involved gettting on and off 40 buses and covered 1,133 miles. His expenses totalled less than £100, but the travel cost him nothing as he used his pensioner’s bus pass. Unlike Conrad’s Marlow, luckily Mr Elloway was not prey to some awful virus, as he was not hospitalised and exposed to the MRSA bug during his trip.

The journey was only possible with the introduction of the national bus pass scheme on April 1. An appropriate date, not because it was Mr Elloway’s departure time, but because we learn that this scheme has cost taxpayers £1bn. Yes, £1bn. Another victory for public transport privatisation – and there’s not even a unified national helpline for that money.

In contrast to this outlay, Mr Elloway’s terms of travel were to get from one end of Great Britain to the other using his free pass on local buses and not express coaches. Where possible he had to stay in youth hostels. He travelled light with a capsule wardrobe consisting of a toothbrush and large bundles of timetables and “a sense of optimism”. (No word on spare underwear.)

Mr Elloway is a veteran of this journey in its various permutations as he’s a member of the Land’s End to John o’Groats Association and has already set two records for cycling the route.

He was the only passenger on the bus when it set out from Land’s End and says he was forced to largely improvise his route and choice of services as he went along. His route went via Truro, Plymouth, Bristol, Swindon, Oxford, Cambridge, Lincoln, Scarborough, Newcastle, Berwick and into Scotland. Hunger was one problem as he often had to skip buying food in the rush to make connections.

It was Day 4 when his Heart of Darkness occurred in Lincoln, late in the evening, after failing to reach Scarborough. He recalls: “I’d lost a day. I arrived in Lincoln at 8.45pm with nowhere to stay and I walked around the streets. A student accommodation janitor was terrific. He found me a guesthouse called Jaymar, owned by Margaret and Jim Ward.

“That was the most euphoric part of the trip, finding that B&B. They came and got me, fed me, and took me to the bus station the next morning. It does restore your faith in human nature – that’s why I do these trips.”

All but one driver allowed him to collect for the YHA charity Breaks4Kids which provides holidays for disabled children. His last bus driver even diverted along the windswept lane to John O’Groats and took his photo for posterity.

Overall, Mr Elloway enjoyed his trip, proving that ’tis better to travel than to arrive. “Generally, it was wonderful. I liked getting off buses and finding that people’s accents had changed. I was never bored. Reading timetables, planning the route, counting the donations and all the rest of it filled my time.”

If anyone at home wants to try this, I’m afraid you can’t. Just because we’re a small fog-bound island with three nations physically joined together doesn’t mean that deeply misguided non-Scottish residents can go round flaunting their bus passes there, expecting free travel. Don’t think a piffling investment of £1bn will buy any bus passenger that much freedom. Mr Elloway had to apply for special dispensation for the final legs from Berwick to Edinburgh, Inverness, Wick, Thurso and John O’Groats.

But even if you have the misfortune to be not British or barmy or even both, I’m sure you’ll join me in raising a glass lukewarm shandy to the intrepid Mr Elloway. Hold very tight, please: Ting! Ting!

peter.elson@dailypost.co.uk