Mandy show is back

Oct 8 2008 by Our Correspondent, Liverpool Daily Post

ON THE day after his shock return to the Cabinet, it was reported that a fellow minister had begged the Prime Minister not to be so stupid and to leave him in his Brussels exile.

The next day, attention switched to a mysterious Greek taverna, where he was alleged to have “dripped pure poison” about the PM into the eager ear of a prominent Conservative.

The following day, he was rushed to hospital at 3am where tests revealed he had kidney stones. Surgery took place a few hours later.

Yes, the Peter Mandelson show is back in town – and tickets are selling like hot cakes.

Political journalists adore the so-called “Prince of Darkness” because he is truly different, a one-off, exotic even – delivering more great stories than the rest of the Cabinet combined.

Look back over a decade of Machiavellian skullduggery – one dodgy home loan, one dodgy passport (adding up to two resignations), that “outing” by a TV presenter, that moment Prescott compared him to a crab.

Then compare that to the sleep-inducing career of, say, new transport secretary Geoff Hoon (who, you ask?) and you will understand the buzz about the place.

Predictions are perilous when it comes to Mr Mandelson, but this attempt to recreate the magic of a decade long gone – in the style of an ageing pop band reformed for a money-spinning tour – is surely doomed?

Just consider the similarities with the Spice Girls, that other key phenomenon of the “Cool Britannia” years, who also couldn’t stand the sight of each other and went their separate ways.

Like Geri Halliwell, the Prime Minister loves to wrap himself in the Union flag – “British jobs for British workers”.

When the Spice Girls reformed, their comeback concert was at London’s O2 arena – formerly the Millennium Dome, the brainchild of Mr Mandelson. Yes, this theory is def- initely coming together.

Ticket sales were brisk for the return of the feisty five, but enth- usiasm quickly waned as everyone realised time had simply moved on.

Politics also demands new tunes – especially when capitalism is collapsing. For how long can the totemic pro-business uber-Blairite perform on the same stage as a PM who now says he wants to “clean up the City”?

I fear that, a decade on, Messrs Brown and Mandelson will struggle to make 2 Become 1.

A CLEAR sign that Merseyside MPs do not expect the PM-PM love-in to last came when one revealed his reaction on seeing the newspaper billboard reading “Mandy rushed to hospital!”.

“My first thought was ‘Blimey, Gor- don’s punched him already!’”, the MP told me.