Teen angst can become a dodgy celebrity obsession

Feb 27 2008 by Laura Davis, Liverpool Daily Post

THE celebrity poster is a teenage bedroom staple, especially if it comes with tiny holes across the middle where it has been pulled from a magazine and traces of regular goodnight kisses at the worn patch on the lips.

If scientists were to find a way of harnessing the unrequited passion felt by 13-year-old girls contemplating the depth of an X Factor winner’s brown eyes or imagining a red carpet date with Zac Ephron, there would be no need to worry about declining fossil fuels ever again.

There can be no stronger energy than the wave of desperation they experience during their darker moments – as they realise it doesn’t matter whether they spend all their pocket money in Primark or persuade their parents to buy Kate Moss endorsed shampoo instead of supermarket own brand, they will never, ever know what it feels like to have their hand squeezed by Justin from Hollyoaks.

The one consolation, they realise deep down, is that one day they will have a boyfriend of their own, a real-life one with real-life acne and real-life smelly socks, rather than a laminated lovely with drawing pins for accessories.

As the compulsion to drink throat-descaling cider in a public park overtakes the inherent need to pause the DVD at the point the male winks in a particularly flirtatious manner, we slowly grow out of our teenage crushes.

But, while most of us replace desperate admiration with a healthy interest in how many pounds Nicole Richie has gained/lost since last week, there are others whose celebrity obsession reaches bizarre proportions.

Last week, an unidentified man from Kentucky paid nearly £9,000 for four strands of hair that once grew out of George Washington’s head – not for the quill he used to sign the American Constitution or for an original copy of his Farewell Address, but for four paltry hairs that he probably never gave a thought to except when smoothing them back each morning.

More disturbingly, these were not hairs he had placed into a locket to give to a sweetheart and passed down the generations as a keepsake, they were snipped from his brow when his body was briefly disinterred after his death to be moved to a grander tomb .

But, although £9,000 may seem a lot for a few strands of greying dead cells, nearly three times that much has been paid at auction by an undisclosed, over-the-phone bidder for a lock of John Lennon’s hair.

At the time, the auctioneer, feeling rather happy with herself after squeezing out almost five times the expected sum, said: “Collections of this kind are rare and the hair in particular is a real one-off for Beatles collectors.”

Well, it may be unusual for Beatles fans to own such an intimate part of their idols, but no self-respecting serial killer obsessive would be without a piece of hair, nail clipping or dirty clothing belonging to the most depraved members of society.

Apparently such sinister collections are common in America, where you can also buy serial killer-themed board games and action figures of Ted Bundy and his ilk.

In Britain, where we are traditionally traditional, we tend to prefer collecting autographs. You can pick up a signed photo of the whole cast of Desperate Housewives for as little as £50, or an entire box of Mariah Carey, Cher and Phil Collins signatures for a similar price, just as long as a coachload of “has been” fanatics doesn’t turn up and push up the price.

Back in the States, a jar allegedly containing air breathed by Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie was sold on eBay for more than $15,000, which proves the sales mantra “People don’t like to be sold, they love to buy”.

Never mind the paparazzi, with a crazed fan lurking around every street corner, waiting to steal your toenail clippings or maybe even your appendix if the opportunity arose, it’s no wonder celebs tend to go a bit loopy every so often.

Or perhaps Britney shaved her head for a more cunning reason – she was planning to sell her hair on eBay.

lauradavis@dailypost.co.uk