I HAVE decided to look on the bright side. This is because a colleague, in a slightly hypocritical fashion, it has to be said, suggested that I am a moaner.
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HERE’S the quandary: how easy is it to find something to do that you have never done before without there being a very good reason (phobias, morality, maintaining public decency . . .) for you never having attempted it?
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ROLL up, roll up. Feast your eyes on this – it’s a spectacle worthy of a PT Barnum circus, as perfectly formed as General Tom Thumb, and it could be even more lucrative than the Fiji Mermaid.
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‘WHY do undertakers have a preference for yellow cars?” I wonder during the early hours of the morning, after awakening from fitful sleep for the umpteenth time since I had gone to bed the night before.
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THERE has been a tune going incessantly round and round in my head like an odd sock stuck in a perpetually turning washing machine somewhere in the caverns of Hell.
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‘I DON’T believe it,” insisted a friend in the tones of Victor Meldrew, with the certainty of a medieval abbot proclaiming the flatness of the Earth.
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THE celebrity poster is a teenage bedroom staple, especially if it comes with tiny holes across the middle where it has been pulled from a magazine and traces of regular goodnight kisses at the worn patch on the lips.
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‘LAURA, old bean,” hollered a colleague from his position safely out of elastic band firing range from my desk. “There’s something wrong with the Goggle.”
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A VERY bad thing has happened. Not as serious as Rhydian’s revelation that he is dating a woman 12 years his senior, perhaps, but pretty important just the same.
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I HAVE a friend with a bit of a thing for the 1940s. By the third glass of wine, she would twist her hair into a victory roll and reminisce about the delights of gala pie, despite being born more than two decades after the Potsdam Agreement.
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THIRTY is the new 20, said one of my friends recently in the middle of planning a weekend of rope swinging, parachute jumping and gorge scaling to mark the impending end of her twenties, or is that teens?
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