Cost of publicity

Aug 14 2007 by Mr Brocklebank, Liverpool Daily Post

A REPORT by Liverpool Culture Company to city councillors trumpeted that £2m of positive publicity was created by reopening St George’s Hall and the International Tennis Tournament. Will a follow-up report advertise that £4m of adverse publicity was created by the Mathew Street Festival fiasco?

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ST HELENS hosted its third free summer pop festival with 15,000 crammed into Victoria Square to see the open air stage.

This number far exceeds Mathew Street Festival’s stages, yet all went smoothly. Was this because St Helens Council ran the show and not St Helens Culture Company (which thankfully does not exist)?

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IN THE awarding-winning issue of the city magazine Liverpool, issue 9, for summer 2007, sports a feature called “A new chapter begins – docks reborn” illustrated with a close-up of rusty bollards. As regular readers will know, Mr Brocklebank is a bit of an expert on spotting bollards, but these are not like any standard one in this port.

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HMS Ark Royal is due to steam up the Mersey in mid-September and Mr Brocklebank’s maritime spies indicate she will be on a peace-keeping mission for the UN. The task? To separate warring Liverpool councillors and Town Hall officers at loggerheads over the Battle of Mathew Street.

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ON THE day that the Festival executioners – the consultants Capita Symonds – arrived in Liverpool to dig the dirt on Mathew Street, VIP invites were dropping onto doormats at the homes of the great and the good inviting them to the champagne and canapé reception for the now-battered event. Evidence showing that Liverpool Culture Company’s left hand does not know what the other left hand is doing.

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THE full planning application for Liverpool FC’s new stadium was compiled with help from the club’s transport advisers.

But, of all the photographs available, they plumped for the one of an Arriva bus decorated in readiness for carrying the “winning” 2007 Athens finalists, which naturally never saw the light of day. Clearly, the club thought it was a shame to waste a good photo.

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FOLLOWING comments from Liverpool Culture Company that Mathew Street Festival ran into “elf ‘n safety” problems because it was “too popular”, the rumours desk says that to address this problem from now on only unpopular events will be staged.

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LATE news: Former artistic director Robyn Archer will be recalled by Culture Company top bananas and promises one of her signature “less than exciting programmes”, that the Scouserati and Kopnoscenti previously greeted with a roar of apathy.

A culture spokesman said: “We’re really bored by Robyn’s new plans – they’re just the ticket for the public who will not be buying them.”