Taking the lead

Nov 20 2007 by Mr Brocklebank, Liverpool Daily Post

A COLUMN correspondent writes to Mr Brocklebank in praise of Liverpool’s much critically abused Britannia Adelphi Hotel because of its "dog-friendly" attitude, which made his whippet feel so at home during a visit.

However, this was in great contrast to the former Kirkland’s bar, in Hardman Street, which refused entry to the pooch, in spite of him wearing his best winter canine coat.

If any former guest has the temerity to claim that they would not send their dog to the Adelphi, Mr Brocklebank has evidence to the contrary.

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A LITTLE Liver Bird whispered in Mr Brocklebank’s shell-like that there is a NML moratorium on buying historic artefacts with only modern objects considered worthy of purchase. However, when curators suggest appropriate items within these guidelines, they find – to their chagrin – that these, too, are rejected. Even a request for a light bulb is apparently subject to director Dr Fleming’s draconian cost-benefit scrutiny, murmurs a disgruntled museum insider.

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SPEAKING of bulbs, Liverpool’s Christmas lights were switched on outside St George’s Hall by former Atomic Kitten Natasha Hamilton, now into her half-life as a local celebrity.

It was surprising, though, that so many of lights in the display were not working. One spectator uncharitably suggested that this was due to the Aigburth songbird fusing the filaments when she hit the high notes.

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ON CUE, while still reeling from accusations over diluting the inquiry report into the Mathew Street Festival fiasco, comes the news that Liverpool Culture Company staged a Euro- showcase event in Brussels while all 10 of the region’s MEP were away in Strasbourg.

Can the cash-strapped Culture Co, adrift by millions of pounds, actually afford this kind of event? Besides, protocol apart, if the MEPs need to know what is happening in Liverpool, can they not spare time to perhaps pay us a visit?

NEW airport security alert: Christopher Tigwell, Esq, of Rainhill, submits the following verses, an ode on the loss of the sculpted John Lennon’s spectacles at his namesake Liverpool airport:

I'm standing at the airport
and feeling rather cross.
Someone just swiped my spectacles
and now I'm at a loss.

What is this country coming to,
I think it's a disgrace.
IMAGINE . . . someone purloining
the glasses off your face!

I'm standing at the airport
just looking for the felon.
So naked with no spectacles –
I'm Liverpool's JOHN LENNON!

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MORE sculpture news: Crowne Plaza hotel bosses deny their new sculpture Fallen Angel, commissioned to mark Capital of Culture – resembling a man frantically trying to keep his balance – is incomplete due to lack of a banana skin.