A day-trip on the ocean wave had one hack all at sea

Jun 23 2008 by Peter Elson, Liverpool Daily Post

I WRITE to you as someone guilty as charged of once sending hundreds of readers and their trusting loved ones on a trip aboard the Scottish paddle steamer Waverley, which became so rough that the old girl had to turn back at Bar.

Waverley gamely paddled back to seek more clement weather on the Costa del Mersey’s upper reaches, like Puerto Garston.

On this short – but nevertheless deeply nauseous – voyage up the Crosby Channel, many souls suffered from mal de mer.

With this upset branded on my memory, my eye was caught by a report about a sea excursion from Liverpool to Llandudno, in a marvellous collection of humorous maritime items called Just Fancy That, which have appeared in the Liverpool Nautical Research Society’s Bulletin.

This archive was corralled by John Shepherd, the Bulletin’s editor, walking nautical encyclopaedia and a good friend of this paper.

The report in question was written by an unnamed Daily Post & Echo writer, back in August, 1955.

After more than half a century, much has changed but the sea’s behaviour has remained constantly inconstant. It’s a highly amusing essay but one that fits firmly into the category of being funny after the event. Although, knowing fine writers as I do, I can just image my fellow scribbler from 53 years ago reassuring himself as he chundered over the rail, chanting the hack’s mantra “this’ll be good material for the column”.

Boarding the good ship St Tudno at the Pier Head, with his wife and two-year-old Mark, our writer is already forcing the optimism on seeing the Irish Sea was “pretty choppy”, telling his spouse that swell and spray over the decks “makes the trip more interesting”.

Then a seasoned traveller chimed in with: “Wait until we turn along the Welsh coast and take the waves from the side.

“We’ll roll like a drum. You’ll see!”

This ancient day-tripping mariner was not wrong. “Soon I saw the first carton being passed around and then heaved out to sea, well clear of the rails. I discovered, too, that it was unwise to tarry too close to the rail on the lower deck, because some poor soul by the rail above discovered that what comes up must come down.”

With even the crew succumbing to seasickness, all eyes were turned on Llandudno Pier “like a ray of hope at an undertakers’ convention”, only to have this “promised land” dashed away by a flag signalling “do not land”. It was, said the author, a case of “paradise postponed”.

The steamer had to lumber on across Conwy Bay, with this news causing queasiness among the remaining upright passengers, their stoicism broken by this disappointment, to seek the solace of the ship’s rail. Apparently: “One young man, who added sound effects, set off a chain reaction.

“Centuries later, it seemed, we entered soothing calm water and finally reached Menai Bridge. Here we entrusted ourselves to a bus which took us to Llandudno – the Promised Land.”

The family returned to Liverpool by train, as you could in those days. John points out that, back in 1931, you could buy a first class season ticket for Liverpool-North Wales sea travel for £4-15-0d (£4.75).

“Some 120 round trips from Liverpool to Llandudno and Menai Bridge could be made in the course of a summer season, from mid-May to mid-September,” says John. “This averaged out at just under 4p per trip, or eight old pence in ‘real’ money. In contrast, a 1997 day-excursion ticket from Liverpool to Douglas cost £34 for one trip.”

If you want to endure – sorry, enjoy – excursion ship travel between Liverpool and North Wales, the veteran motorship Balmoral, of Waverley Excursions, returns to the Mersey for a cruise to Menai Bridge on Thursday, July 17, viewing Puffin Island and the Menai Bridges. On Monday, July 21, Balmoral will be cruising the Mersey to view the Tall Ships Race Parade of Sail. For more information, call 0845 130 4647 or e-mail info@waverleyexcursions.co.uk

peterelson@dailypost.co.uk