Fashion Victim: All the usual suspects make the list

Jan 17 2008 by Emma Johnson, Liverpool Daily Post

FEW things are more satisfying to read for a shameless celebrity addict like myself than lists of best and worst dressed stars.

They come a close second only to the glee I feel watching nominees walk the red carpet at Hollywood awards ceremonies in dresses that cost twice my year’s salary and look like dogs’ dinners.

In fact, Hollywood award ceremonies is what I had expected would be the subject of today’s column. We should now be dissecting whether Keira Knightley was wise to wear black PVC for the occasion, and if Helena Bonham-Carter was wearing her pyjamas.

Alas, we can do neither because, thanks to the writers’ strike, there was no actual Golden Globes ceremony this year. Instead, the glitz and glamour was replaced by a boring news conference where the winners’ names were simply read out one by one.

While all that has left couturiers the world over crying into their dirty Martinis at the loss of millions of dollars worth of publicity, those of us missing the fashion bitchfest (me) can seek comfort in the recent publication of Mr Blackwell’s latest list.

For those of you who wouldn’t know your Giorgio Armani from your George at Asda, Mr Blackwell is the 85-year-old fashion designer turned fashion critic behind the infamous Worst Dressed Women’s List.

While “what is she wearing” columns in the gossip rags come and go, this list – which first appeared back in 1960 – is the one the celebrities really do not want to be found on.

Shame then that Victoria Beckham just found herself at the top of his 48th. Blackwell said of the stick insect: “In one skinny-mini monstrosity after another, pouty ‘Posh’ can really wreck ’em.”

You will get no arguments from me there. Mrs Beckham does seem to have an uncanny ability to ruin even the most beautiful of couture creations.

Nor will you find me disagreeing with his descriptions of Amy Winehouse: “Exploding beehives above, tacky polka-dots below”.

Likewise, I am as baffled as he is why miniature tramp-a-like Mary-Kate Olsen, whom he calls a “tattered toothpick trapped in a hurricane”, keeps being held up as a style icon. Every time I see a picture of her, I am reminded of the scene in ET where Drew Barrymore dresses the big-eyed alien up in her mum’s clothes and a blonde wig. Mary-Kate phone stylist.

Other Blackwell “victims” include actress Eva Green, who must surely be the first Bond girl to go Goth, Lindsay Lohan and, erm . . . former Little House on the Prairie star Alison Angrim. I know the smocks and pinafores were bad, but it seems an awfully long time to be holding them against her.

Alongside Blackwell’s Worst Dressed list there is, of course, a best-dressed run-down. In case you are interested, glamorous Australian mums-to-be Nicole Kidman and Cate Blanchett were among those honoured by the LA-based octogenarian.

Our own Dame Helen Mirren, who last year confessed to wearing stripper shoes at last year’s Emmy Awards, also got a nod for her style. Guess that makes her a fine suspect.