Emma Johnson Fashion Victim: New Year’s resolutions... of a fashion

Jan 7 2010 by Emma Johnson, Liverpool Daily Post

THE shops are awash with the post-Christmas sale detritus, the bank account is in the red and, most critically of all, my car is snowed in.

It means my chances of buying any new clothes in the near future are slim to none.

Seems like as good a time as any to make some New Year fashion and beauty resolutions. Here goes:

1. I will stop splurging on anything and everything and think seriously about the difference between “wanting” a new dress and “needing” a new dress, prior to getting my credit card out.

2. I will stop buying handbags big enough to put small children in then wondering why I have back problems.

3. I will not buy any more nude lipsticks/ lipglosses. I have more nude lipsticks than I can use in a lifetime. Ditto sparkly earrings. Even if they are in Primark and only cost £3. Must control my inner magpie.

4. Speaking of Primark. I will try on clothes before I buy them. Or at least I will check that the size on the dress label matches the size on the hanger thereby cutting down on the number of size 18 tops which make it home with me.

5. I will learn how to put my own fake tan on without a) turning myself orange, b) giving myself tiger stripes, c) spray painting the bathroom. I will also learn how to use GHD straighteners to curl my hair. If my 11-year-old cousin can do it then I have no excuse. And while I am at it I should probably learn how to apply eyeliner properly.

6. I will find the perfect denim jacket/ three quarter length jeans/ ballet flats.

7. I will refrain from crying out at the end of every mascara advert: “Do you think we are stupid? We know that your eyelashes were enhanced in post-production!” Ditto I will stop shouting at Cheryl Cole’s, left, shampoo commercials.

8. I will not go out in grey jogging bottoms. I don’t care if there are waiting lists for the Proenza Schouler and Bottega Veneta ones and I know that Sarah Jessica Parker looks gorgeous in hers but track pants are for slobbing out at home, they are not designed for public consumption.

9. I will reconcile myself to the fact that if I can’t walk properly in a pair of shoes in the shop, I will never be able to walk properly in them no matter how many in-soles, party feet and heel grips I stick in them. It also goes without saying if a pair of shoes is too tight in the shop they will be too tight in my house. They will not give, stretch or “breathe” no matter how in love with them I am.

10. And most importantly of all I will realise that there is more to life than designer dresses, killer heels and Hermes handbags…yeah right, of course there is!