M&S getting slack in their supporting role

Jan 25 2008 by Valerie Hill, Liverpool Daily Post

IN THIS age of rampant consumerism, I’m in a not very enviable position. One day, I’ll be able to tell my as yet unborn grandchildren that I can remember when Marks & Spencer never advertised its wares.

Actually, it wasn’t that long ago that the high street bastion of middle England reluctantly decided it had better plunge into the vulgar, modern world of marketing.

Up until then, the chain relied on the belief that its products were such of good quality and value that they stood up on their own.

Well, we now find that in spite of the millions spent in advertising to keep up with the Dickens & Jones’s and every other store, one range that is not standing up is its underpants.

Or rather, the quality of underpants bought by one high- profile Newsnight journalist, in particular.

Normally, it is grand inquisitor Jeremy Paxman inflicting eye-watering pain on some quivering politician.

But now he’s the victim of suffering dealt where it really hurts. In a nutshell, this is a new twist on an old product: there’s a problem with Paxo stuffing (his pants, that is).

He’s complained to Sir Stuart Rose, head of Marks & Spencer, that the store’s claim to holding up the best of British sartorial values doesn’t extend such support to its men’s underpants.

This email of woe (conveniently leaked to the press) reveals that Paxo’s smalls are letting him down big time, in those important areas where even journalists’ torches of truth usually don’t shine.

Do we really want our men’s shreddies forced out into the glare of the spotlight, in the great British gusset debate?

Certainly, it won’t be a pretty sight, but it’s too late – the genie’s out of the Y-fronts.

And this is no exception to the rule you that can’t force it back in.

Paxo’s sore point is that “something very troubling has happened”, and continues “there’s no other way to put this. The pants no longer provide adequate support”.

Having canvassed friends and colleagues from his gym to the Palace of Westminster, he confirms that, among men, there is “widespread gusset anxiety”.

Already, you may be wondering if this discomfort accounts for all the faces he pulls, rather than the witless or evasive replies he receives from his interviewees?

Doubtless, it will weaken him professionally as any cornered politico can gleefully respond: “Oh, Jeremy, that’s not in my brief. Just like you’re not in yours.”

Women readers will enjoy learning of this male discomfort. In recent years, we’ve put up with waves of so-called underwear experts.

They’ve made it their business on television and magazines to look into our lingerie habits and found them deeply wanting.

Thanks to the media’s lightweight cameras and CCTV, one dares hardly step into a clothes shop cubicle.